


one good movie kiss

by yukaris



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Romance, slight angst, they are both bad at feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 21:59:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17067914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yukaris/pseuds/yukaris
Summary: Ten is an art major.Doyoung is a business major.Ten and Doyoung also happen to be neighbors.





	one good movie kiss

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yoonbot (iverins)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iverins/gifts).



> to my recipient: i combined two of your prompts together and yet it still managed to be something else entirely, i hope you like it!!!!! happy holidays, hope u have a great time <3
> 
> The title comes from Mitski's Nobody. I listened to a lot of Mitski while I wrote this and it shows.

"This fucking sucks." Ten complains to Johnny one summer afternoon. Johnny nods in understanding because he is Ten's best friend and a photography major, but Johnny also has always been more patient out of the two of them so Ten is not sure he really understands Ten's current predicament.

"I know it's difficult sometimes, but inspiration doesn't come knocking at your door, Ten. Sometimes you have to go looking for it." Johnny says, with a look on his face that tells him he is concerned and wants Ten to get his shit together. Ten knows he means well but sometimes, it is just kind of frustrating. Instead of rolling his eyes at Johnny he glares at some dude at the front demanding his Café Latte even though the sign at the counter makes it clear that they're on a break right now. The dude huffs and goes on to sit at the table for fifteen minutes more. Ten smiles triumphantly while Yuta curses under his breath about rude customers. Johnny is nicer than both of them combined so he tells the guy to kindly wait just a few minutes using his best customer service smile.

When Ten says it fucking sucks, it's because he means it. Being an art major is not as fun and games as many people like to think it is. But that has been a fact Ten has known before he'd chosen it, being an art major brings in all kinds of uncertainty and frustration, final year projects are expensive and tiring which is how he ends up taking the job of a cashier at the in-campus coffee shop. The pay is not that great but it is convenient and he can work with his closest friends here which is better than going through the trouble of actually getting to know new people at a new workplace. Honestly, it's not even that bad save for some troublesome customers but that is to be expected when most of them are dumb and broke college students.

On top of everything else, he has what people aptly call, an 'art block'. And an in-campus café is probably the lowest in the list of most inspiring places for creative endeavors.

But he is not sure where he is supposed to go looking for inspiration, either. He's always too tired when he returns back to his apartment, and then there is always so much to do like laundry, cooking, cleaning. etc. he is not about to go looking for interesting places around Seoul anytime soon. Then there's also Ten's neighbor who is always complaining about the loud music. Ten doesn't even play it that loud but he swears that guy just needs one thing or another to nag about.

Ten has never had to deal with an art block before so he'd once mistakenly thought that it was some sort of myth but now it's a very real problem that he's had to deal with and in such a crucial time, too.

"You should just give yourself some time." Johnny says, he's always been a little too optimistic for his own good. "You'll come up with something great, for sure."

He smiles at him and it's comforting. Ten hopes he is right.

  
  
  


Ten feels a little better after listening to Johnny, he is better off not thinking too much about it anyway because over thinking about his art has never worked for him. He just needs to give himself a little time. 

He's thinking about treating himself to some takeout today for being too hard on himself that he doesn't see someone else get into the elevator before the doors can close on him. That someone turns out to be Kim Doyoung, his next door neighbor but also known as the bane of his existence. Great, just the kind of pick-me-up he needed right now. Doyoung looks at him from the corner of his eyes and when it seems like he's not going to speak up anytime soon, Ten does it for him because he wants to think he is the more sociable one. Also because he's petty and he gets immense joy from seeing Doyoung look slightly uncomfortable.

"You know, it wouldn't kill you to say 'hello'." He smirks when Doyoung visibly starts, as if he had not been expecting Ten to break the awkward silence but Ten hates awkward silence more than he hates Doyoung. "We're on the same floor anyway."

To his credit, Doyoung actually looks embarrassed. "I didn't know you wanted to talk to me that bad."

"Well, I do." Ten grins, thinking about how he catches Doyoung glaring at him sometimes, he should be intimidated he guesses but it's also funny in a strange way. "Love hearing you talk about how insufferable I am."

Doyoung opens his mouth to say something, a gripping response he assumes, but then the elevator stops. They are both going to same direction anyway so it wouldn't hurt to tease Doyoung a little bit more but then Doyoung is walking ahead of him as if he can't bear to be with him any longer. Well, that's fine, it's not like Ten is just dying to talk to him or something.

But then he turns to look at Ten before he opens the door to his apartment.

"Please keep it low tonight." He looks at him pointedly. "I have a proposal to write."

_ Fuck you and your proposals, _ Ten screams in his mind. Outside, he just smiles politely. 

"Okay." He says, faking enthusiasm. It has the intended effect because Doyoung looks a little red, either from anger or embarrassment. Maybe both.

"See you around." He says, hoping that he actually does not.

But later he keeps the volume as low as possible anyway. He's not an asshole.

  
  
  


Ten doesn't go to parties much these days but there was a time, specifically between his freshman year and right till the end of his sophomore years, all he did was party. He'd ended up wasted with no memories of last night, he'd ended up making out with a stranger on his friend's bedroom more than enough to count, he'd thrown up all over the carpet at some point and had also cried his eyes out on the shoulder of a guy who'd been nice enough to hear him complain about a particularly bad breakup. That was how he'd met Kun and now they were like best friends forever, so at least something good had come out of it.

At first Ten had thought that Kun didn't really look like he went to college parties to get wasted, and he was right, he was usually there for two reasons, a) he was too worried about what his drunk friends would get up to so he'd volunteer to go or, b) the said drunk friends had coerced him to go because he'd been holing himself up studying too hard for the finals.

It was the first one tonight. He'd tagged along with Ten and Sicheng but Sicheng had gone off to socialize with his friends from the Business department. Honestly, Ten didn't even know when, why or how Sicheng was friends with them but he was, in fact, more sociable than he looked. Ten had also gotten a glimpse of Yuta somewhere in the crowd but it was too much of a trouble to go and find him. So it was just Ten and Kun now.

Ten didn't feel too drunk just yet, and if it was a year ago he would have gone all out, danced wildly without a care for the world. He had quite a reputation at that. But now he just opted to get a drink and sit back and relax. College parties just tend to get predictable and boring after a while.

Kun laughs when he tells him this. "Maybe you're the one who's gotten boring."

Ten gasps as he puts his hands over his chest. "Maybe you're rubbing off on me."

Kun hits him on the arms with his fists, but it's so weak it makes him laugh. He's about to say something to Kun when he sees him.

It's Doyoung. Kim Doyoung. His infuriating neighbor. Ten had forgotten he was a business major.

Kun blinks curiously when Ten looks shell-shocked at a random guy but then he notices what he is wearing.

"Oh my god." He marvels. 

Doyoung's wearing a blue-and-white striped sweater with black grunge denim. The exact same as Ten. How did this happen? Ten wonders. Did Doyoung happen to see him leave for the party and wore the exact same outfit and arrived to the exact same party just to ridicule him? Doyoung seemed too put together to go through such childish ways to spite a guy he hates. But Ten doesn't know enough about him to say he wouldn't.

He groans and turns away, hiding behind Kun before anyone sees him and Doyoung standing together.

He's about to dash off to the bathroom when he sees Sicheng actually holding Doyoung by the arms and dragging him to where they are. But then Yuta is calling his name loudly and coming over, ignoring Ten's facial expression that is a signal for 'abort'.

Doyoung is out to get him. The whole world is out to get him.

The damage is already done because Doyoung and Sicheng notice him. Ten glares at Yuta who stares at him confusedly at first but then he sees the tall guy next to Kun and Sicheng, turns back to do a once-over at Ten and then he gets it.

Kun is trying to hold back his laughter but Yuta and Sicheng are seriously doubling over in laughter now. Doyoung is looking at everything around him except Ten. He's making it way more awkward than it needs to be. His previous overreaction aside, it's not even that big of a deal, is it?

"Hey, Doyoung." He says, trying to make it a little less embarrassing. "Didn't know you came to parties."  _ By stealing my look, _ he doesn't add.

"Wait." Yuta says before Doyoung can make any sort of response, wiping tears from his eyes from laughing too much. Ten knows intuitively that he's going to say something stupid. "You guys know each other…and you're dressed like couples. Ten, what's going on?"

Ten elbows him. "Shut up."

"Who's a couple?" Taeil appears out of nowhere with two drinks in his hand, almost tripping and sloshing the drinks everywhere. He hands one to Doyoung. Doyoung looks expectantly at Taeil, as if Taeil will somehow get him out of this situation. They had common friends and he had no idea until today.

"Doyoung and…Ten? That is absolutely hilarious." He exclaims. Sicheng chides him saying, "hyung, you can't say that!" to which he replies, "what?? I didn’t mean it in a bad way."

Ten facepalms. Why is he friends with these people?

"Can everyone just shut up? Nobody is dressed like a couple here." Doyoung finally speaks up. "It was just a coincidence."

Doyoung looks miffed and Ten can't say he feels too thrilled about it either but for some reason, Doyoung being pissed about being mistaken for dating Ten is a little annoying.

"Yeah, there is no way I am dating Mr. Too-Good-For-You here." He says, but his voice sounds a little weird, not carefree enough. Kun raises his eyebrows at him. "Not you too." Ten mouths at him.

Finally everyone seems to let it go. Sicheng introduces Doyoung to Kun like he was first meaning to. Doyoung refuses to make any more eye contact with Ten. Ten figures that it's alright.

But maybe it's because he progressively gets drunk he feels bad about it. It is clear Doyoung didn't dress up like Ten just to spite him and the whole thing was equally embarrassing for him as it was for Ten though Ten is better than him at not showing it. He later spots Doyoung alone at the balcony and joins him.

"Hey, uh, sorry about all of that." He begins. "If it made you uncomfortable."

Doyoung shakes his head. "No, it's not your fault."

"So, you're not pissed at me?"

"Why would I be pissed at you?"

"Well, you always seem pissed at me when we interact, so…"

"I could say the same."

Damn, okay. Maybe Ten has been a little too harsh on him but they got on the wrong foot from their first meeting. Doyoung always seemed like he was looking down on him, like he was secretly judging him. But maybe he had been a little judgemental about him too. He doesn’t seem as bad he used to think.

Ten smiles at him. "We didn't have a good first impression of each other, did we?"

"No, we didn't." Doyoung smiles back.

"I guess I should give you a second chance, we seem to have similar taste anyways." He smirks.

Doyoung sighs.

"I'm willing to consider if you stop playing loud hip-hop songs at 3 am."

"No promises." Ten laughs.

  
  
  


Ten hates how fast the gossip travels.

"Heard you featured in 'who wore it better' yesterday." Johnny says the first thing after he sees Ten.

"As a matter of fact, I did. And you have probably guessed who the winner was."

Johnny shows him Yuta's tweet from last night with a picture of both of them in close proximity on the left and the spiderman meme on the right. It has a reply from Taeyong saying just one word 'yikes' and Taeil's reply with unnecessary amount of hearts and 'you guys have my blessing'. He reminds himself to block both Yuta and Taeil.

"You have to admit it's kind of funny though." Johnny teases him.

The thing is Ten does think it was kind of funny but he's not going to say that to anyone's face. Ten likes being at the giving end of teasing not at the receiving end of it. But probably the best thing about it was Doyoung actually looked at him and nodded in greeting when they met at the elevator this morning instead of glaring at him like usual. Ten didn't know why he thought it was the best thing, maybe because it meant he wasn't hated anymore and that was a good thing. Not being hated.

"Are you sure you're not dating anyone though? You have that look in your face you have when you're into someone."

Ten frowns. "No, I don't."

  
  
  


Ten does not specialize in drawing people though he considers it for his final project. He makes a few rough sketches of people walking on a busy street, people resting on the park bench, people looking sadly outside their window as if they are waiting for something or someone, people reading books while sitting under the tree. It is slightly cliché, but it's better than nothing and he can always make adjustments while working on the full piece. But it still doesn't feel right and he can't explain why. The anatomy seems mostly correct.

Sighing, he puts the sketchbook away and grabs his sweatshirt. It's getting chillier with the onset of autumn and he finds the best time to go for a walk is at dusk, when the sky is filled with the orange and red hues from the sunset mixed with the blue sky. The brown-red leaves, people walking side by side holding hands at the park, the smell of coffee. Everything seems so melancholic and washed out. Maybe this is the kind of feeling he should capture.

It's already quite dark when he returns back to his apartment. When he is fiddling with his keys, he sees Doyoung come out of the elevator. Do business majors have classes this late? No wonder Doyoung always looks so dead inside.

He is also wearing a white dress shirt and a tie, which is not a big surprise because Ten sees the business majors running around dressed up all formal and corporate-like all the time. It is the first time Ten has seen Doyoung dressed like this though and he looks good. Ten has unfortunately always thought Doyoung as good-looking but this is a really good look on him.

He realizes he has been staring too long when Doyoung waves his hand in front of him. Someone definitely uttered the word 'Hi' but he didn't remember who. It might be rude not to respond if it was Doyoung but if it was him, saying 'hi' twice would be a little creepy.

"Why do you look like you saw a ghost?" Doyoung comments.

"So you admit you look like a ghost." He says because he just can't help it. Doyoung makes a disgruntled noise as Ten smiles in satisfaction.

"You are so annoying." He mumbles, but there's a hint of a smile on his face as he gets his keys out.

Ten later takes out his sketchbook and tries to draw more people. But this time it's a guy in a white shirt and a tie standing on the balcony of a tall building at night, a solitary guy in a shirt staring at the waves of the sea in a beach, a guy in a shirt holding a pencil in hand and staring at something in deep concentration.

Maybe this is what Johnny was talking about.

  
  
  


Ten keeps running into Doyoung after his evening walk again and again and again.

The only thing different is each time, Doyoung looks worse and worse.

The fifth time he sees him, his eyes are sunken and he looks like he has not had anything to eat the whole day. His voice sounds monotone and like he's talking to him from some far away dimension when he says 'hey'.

Ten doesn't know if he can call them friends but he does consider himself a good neighbor even if Doyoung does not so it makes sense to be concerned over him especially when Doyoung looks like he is about to end up in a ditch somewhere if he just lets him be.

"What is wrong with you? You actually look like a ghost now. It's creepy."

Doyoung makes a pained expression. "Internship. Is. Hell."

Oh. That explains why he is coming back home so late and looking like he is about to die. Ten nods in understanding. Suddenly, there's a growling noise and Doyoung groans in embarrassment.

If it was any other time, Ten would have teased him about it but this seems serious. On a whim, he takes Doyoung's hands in his own and drags him toward the elevator. He knows of a really good ramen shop just around the corner and he hasn't had dinner either. Doyoung makes a noise of protest, explaining to him how he can cook unlike Ten. Ten lets that particular jab slide because he's such a good person at heart and reminds him how dead tired he looks to do anything. Doyoung has no choice but to yield.

When they reach the shop, Ten realizes he is still holding Doyoung's hand so he hastily lets go.

"What's the quickest thing you can bring?" He asks the waitress who gives him a quizzical look.

"Uh…miso ramen?"

Ten orders two bowls of miso ramen. He scoffs when Doyoung stares at him with a pout on his face. It makes him look like a child. A feisty child. For some reason, Ten thinks about how he doesn't know much about Kim Doyoung even though they're neighbors, go to the same university, have common friends.

"I can take care of myself." Doyoung mutters.

"Just shut up and let people be nice to you." Ten tells him.

They get talking then. When Doyoung gets complaining about something he keeps going. It was annoying when directed at him but now it’s kind of cute. He talks about how exploitative unpaid internships are, how his supervisor expects him to be able to do literally everything, how he has to deal with schoolwork too on top of everything and how he is always tired these days and how he had to skip his lunch today because his supervisor thought he was half-assing everything and of course, Doyoung had to prove him wrong so he worked harder. Ten feels really sorry for assuming business major kids had it so good because they always went around looking all prim and proper. In his defense, some of them were actually terrible people though, who looked down on the art students. Maybe it was also part of the reason why Doyoung annoyed the hell out of him at the beginning.

He still annoys him but for entirely different reason. He's a perfectionist and just from the way he talks about his work, his study, Ten can see he is more hard on himself than he is on everyone else.

Perhaps, he wants to get to know Doyoung better.

  
  
  


As much as he loves Yuta, Taeyong is just way easier to deal with as a coworker than he is.

For one, Taeyong lets him put his head on his shoulders and vent about his progress or lack thereof, in his final project. He doesn't give any advice and look at him full of concern, like Johnny does, but he listens and sometimes that is more than enough.

Another thing is Taeyong doesn't tease him about his 'crush' on Doyoung like Yuta seems to have made a habit of these days. Johnny says it's because Ten enables him by talking so much about Doyoung but Ten doesn't think he is doing it to the extent that it's weird.

It's not his fault Doyoung always surprises him.

After that first night, they have been having dinner together more than often. Doyoung does not seem as opposed to it anymore, actually he might even be warming up to their friendship, Ten thinks. They bicker half of the time because they're such different people but now the banter is lighthearted and casual. It's endearing how Doyoung gets so worked up about things and Ten loves spurring him on. When Ten finally makes Doyoung smile it always feels so rewarding, by the time he is back to his apartment, there is a warmth settled on the pit of his stomach that Ten is not sure it's from the food or because of Doyoung's company.

Okay, maybe he does have a little crush on him. But it is just that, a crush. It's not really going to get bigger than that. Doyoung doesn't like him like that and that's for the better. He can't deal with things getting more complicated.

Just like that, as if he was summoned by Ten just thinking about him, Doyoung is here at the coffee shop.

It's kind of a surprise because in all the few weeks Ten has worked here, he's never seen Doyoung around here. But Ten hardly sees Doyoung around the campus anyway. Their schedules just don't match. Ten had told him between conversations that he worked at the campus coffee shop, maybe he was just here to see him. There is probably nothing more to it but the thought of Doyoung coming here to see him makes his heart flutter.

Johnny and Taeyong both perk up to look at him. He is so glad Yuta is not here, at least.

Doyoung orders the caramel latte, as per Ten's suggestion, because Taeyong makes a great caramel latte. He introduces him to Johnny and Taeyong who look more eager to talk to him than Ten does.

Ten watches as Johnny lingers a little too long near Doyoung's table. It doesn't make sense to worry about him, Johnny is a waiter and it's his specialty to make friendly conversations with the customers, but Doyoung keeps nodding and smiling at whatever Johnny is saying.   

Johnny returns with a smirk on his face and waves his phone at Ten.

"I got his number."

Taeyong chuckles. "Ten's going to kill you now."

He won't admit it but he is in fact, a little disappointed that Johnny managed to get Doyoung's number so soon. It had taken Ten whole lot more coaxing and a promise to treat him to dinner. He is not jealous though, like Taeyong is trying to insinuate. So he just tells both of them to shut up.

Doyoung greets all of them goodbye and then he is off to his 1 am lecture. Ten watches him leave, thinking about the most appropriate way he could ask Doyoung later if Johnny is his type.

Johnny shakes his head. "He's got it bad."

"Ten?" Taeyong asks, as he observes his friend longingly glance at a guy he cannot stop talking about these days. "Yeah, I agree."

"No." He says, remembering the way Doyoung's eyes had lit up when he was talking to Ten. "Not Ten."

  
  
  


"This is amazing." Doyoung looks at Ten's illustrations with awe. His stomach is in a knot, having Doyoung come over to his apartment is one thing but showing him his drawings makes him nervous. Maybe it's about how everyone expects him to be a painter when he tells them he is an art major and illustrations aren't nearly as interesting or romantic or maybe it's because it feels like Doyoung is slowly letting himself in to the spaces Ten is not sure he is going to be able to push him away from. He should say something clever in response and move on, but for the first time in a while, he is in loss for words.

"It's really not that great." He says, quietly. Doyoung looks at his drawings, he can tell that he genuinely thinks they are good but Ten doesn't think his heart is that ready to hear a compliment from Doyoung. All about this feels strangely intimate.

"Stop being so humble, it's weird." Doyoung laughs, and there is something about that laugh that makes him feel like he is a fifteen-year-old with a crush for the first time in his life. It's disorienting. "I expected you to be good, but I didn't know you were this good."

Ten really should stop this--whatever he is feeling. It's only going to hurt more later if he doesn't. He could make an excuse, tell Doyoung he is not feeling well and ask him to leave. Doyoung is so nice that he would be a little concerned but not ask any further. But for some reason he goes on and on, telling him about things he's never even told his best friends.

He tells him about how much drawing means to him, how much he wants his piece to be selected for the art exhibition for the best final year art projects, how hard he is trying to come up with something perfect and how that's making him put off drawing anything at all. It's very embarrassing and he regrets it the moment he tells him, he wouldn't mind if Doyoung just nodded and they could move on to other topic.

There is a long stretch of silence before Doyoung speaks. "I don't really know how it works for you and I'm not even sure it's my place to say this but...you're too focused on the end-result being perfect you've forgotten what made you fall in love with it in the first place. It doesn't have to be perfect as long as you love making it."

Ten wants to scream because Doyoung is right on the mark. Ten knew this already but maybe he just wanted someone to say it out loud. He knows inspiration is not coming to him because it never does; it's always been Ten picking up his pen and going with the flow. He knows there should be a structure to it, some kind of planning, but Ten always enjoys when the final drawing surprises him, like it has a life of its own.

When Ten doesn't respond, Doyoung continues, "There's this concept of being a process-oriented manager versus a product-oriented manager and I have no idea why I thought it was relevant to this, forget I said anything."

Ten snorts at that. "You're kind of a nerd, huh?"

"I was just trying to help!" Doyoung sputters.

"But you're right." He says, and then as an afterthought. "I'm sorry I don't know how to properly say thank you."

Doyoung looks at him with a soft expression then. Ten is suddenly aware of how close they are sitting, their fingers slightly brushing against each other. It is almost unfair how easy it would be to just lean slightly forward and kiss him right now and ruin this friendship they currently have. For a moment it seems like Doyoung is going to do just that but then he is just leaning over him to get his sketchbook again.

Ten hates how disappointed he feels.

  
  
  


Ten had been a romantic once. He'd watch romance movies and imagine that he'd get to experience that kind of love that would sweep him off his feet. It was all naïve, wishful thinking, of course.

Unlike movies, in real life, you get to make bad choices and live with them. And Ten is good at making bad choices but not good at living with them.

He thinks about all his past relationships and how each of them ended. He'd broken hearts and in return had his own broken too. It was always the same cycle, how Ten always expected more and how there was always something missing, how he'd be emotionally distant sometimes but then clingy the next moment and it was always, always because Ten didn't know what he wanted, how to express what he wanted, how he was so bad at actually talking about his true feelings. At first Ten had blamed the other person, the circumstances, but after so many of his relationships ended the same way he'd finally understood the problem was always him, him, him.

There were no happy ever afters in real life. And Ten had thought he'd made peace with that.

But with Doyoung it was different somehow, though he could not put a finger on it. They didn't get along at first. Ten was not sure if they still got along at times. But with him, Ten didn't have to pretend to be anything else. On the surface, they were such different people but Ten had thought after really spending time with him that they were actually more similar. Doyoung was terrible with emotions too and maybe that’s what made it so easy to talk to him. Doyoung didn't take his shit but he also didn't make him like he was being too much. It was a strange feeling but being with Doyoung made him feel safe. The urge to hold his hands and drape himself all over him was just too much.

Ten liked him and he wished he didn't. Doyoung would either fall in love with someone else someday and Ten would have to be satisfied with being only friends. Or Doyoung might like him back, but then Ten would probably ruin it all in the end and Doyoung would come to hate him too, like everyone he'd dated before.

It didn't have to come to that if nothing ever started.

Ten could deal with a heart break like he'd done many times before. But he didn't want to break Doyoung's heart.

  
  
  


It's the day Doyoung's internship comes to an end and he looks elated.

His smile is contagious and Ten can't help but feel happy too. Doyoung has worked so hard these past months he deserves to celebrate and since Ten still owes him a dinner he takes him to a fancy restaurant he's been wanting to go to.

He'd not expected it to only couples sort of place though. The two of them being men makes them stand out. He tries to read Doyoung's expression to see if he is uncomfortable with it but he behaves like usual.

Ten knows Doyoung is gay when he'd accidentally come out by making a crude joke. But Doyoung had laughed like he'd understood and what more, he had told him he was gay too.

Doyoung had looked relieved to have it out of the way, but everyone had different level of comfort with being out in the public and Ten had unintentionally made it seem like they were here on a date.

Maybe he is just worried for nothing and Doyoung doesn't mind it at all. God, he hates how much of an idiot he becomes when he likes someone.

They walk side by side on the way to home but Ten could not stop thinking about how it really felt like a date after all, he is extra cautious not to accidentally touch him.

Doyoung abruptly stops in his tracks and turns to look at him.

"I have something to tell you."

Ten feels slightly dizzy.  _ What if… _

But then he tells him about how a client he'd talked to for business purposes had been impressed by his work and he'd invited him to work for his own startup company after he'd graduated. It was a good opportunity and Doyoung was considering it, but the office was farther from the city and he'd likely have to move away or else it'd take him three hours to just commute.

Ten is happy for him, he really is. But he just can't manage to smile right now, even a fake one.

Doyoung runs his hands through his hair. "But there's at least three months until I graduate." 

"Aww. I'm not going to miss you at all." He lies. Doyoung doesn't laugh it off like he always does. He just nods. Ten doesn't miss the strange tension on his shoulders and he wants to say something to dismiss this awkwardness, but nothing comes to mind.

"C'mon. I'm not that cold-hearted." He says, hitting his chest with his fist.

Doyoung scoffs. "It's not like it's set in stone or anything, I'm still deciding."

They walk the rest of the way in silence.

Ten wonders if this was the sign he needed right now, the sign that he was better off maintaining his distance.

He just wishes it didn't feel like a hard punch to his stomach.

  
  
  


With Doyoung's internship over and the project deadline just around the corner, they don't have many chances to meet. In some ways, Ten finds it a relief that he doesn't have to actively avoid him, but in other ways, he'd become so used to seeing Doyoung every other day it makes him feel like something's missing. His mood worsens.

It's funny how you can be heartbroken and everything but the world still goes on. Ten hates how he still has to get up and go to his classes, deal with the nerves and pressure of being a college graduate soon and work on his final project. He doesn't feel that anxious about working on it as before but there's still the worry about whether his work is going to be good enough for the exhibition or not, but the only way to find out is to actually start working on it.

Doyoung still texts him but Ten tells him how busy he is these days and so he stops texting often. He is not technically lying, but he feels kind of guilty so he still responds to the texts even though it's only to send a sad face emoji and 'college is kicking my ass'.

After a week or two, he stops responding to the messages altogether and purposely takes the shifts at the coffee shop to avoid meeting Doyoung. Johnny asks him why but Ten tells him it's because of his project so he relents.

His final project turns out better than he expected, surprisingly. It is such a relief he ends up going out to treat himself along with Kun because Kun is the best drinking buddy and he is also the least likely of his closest friends to ask about Doyoung because his friends at the coffee shop know unfortunately too much.

The night is supposed to be about Ten patting himself on the back for working so hard but it ends up with him feeling miserable throughout anyway.

He rests his cheek on the cold surface of the table, a little dazed with alcohol on his system, and sighs for the umpteenth time.

"OK, something is seriously wrong, what's up?" Kun says, voice full of concern.

Ten groans. "Nothing."

"You're acting like you have never come to me crying about a breakup before."

And here was trying not to bring it up.

It's not like he means to make it a habit of crying about his heartbreak to Kun, but Ten actually met Kun that way, so it feels comfortable and appropriate, like it's just their thing. He knows how burdensome that must be but Kun never complains because he's a sweetheart. Everyone is so kind to him that Ten sometimes wonder if he deserves it.

"I wouldn't call it a breakup. It's not like there was anything to break up in the first place." Even though it hurts just like one, he doesn't say. He misses Doyoung but he also needs to get used to it, since he is going to move away soon and forget about him. He'd been ignoring his messages so Doyoung doesn't even bother to send it anymore, it's a good thing probably but Ten selfishly wishes he would not give up so soon either. He hates thinking about how it's going to end just like that.

He tells Kun everything, about how much he likes Doyoung even though he doesn't want to.

Kun does not seem surprised at all but he has that look on his face that tells Ten that he is very much disappointed.

"I'm sorry but that's the most stupid thing I have heard you say." Kun says.

Ten is about to say something in his own defense but Kun waves his hand to stop him.

"No, hear me out. All this time, when you have told me about your failed past relationships I have never once thought you were at fault, at least you were not the only one. That's just how relationships are, you're going to get hurt someday, and you're going to make mistakes. You can't see the future, Ten. You can't assume it's not going to work if you never try! What if it works? What if Doyoung is your one true love and you fucking miss out on that because you're scared of being vulnerable or whatever. That sounds incredibly stupid to me."

Kun sighs. "And even if it doesn't you can always come to me to cry. I will hear you out. I always have."

Ten tries to blink back the tears on his eyes, he does not want to actually start crying because it feels like he might never stop.

He puts his arms around Kun and gives him a tightest hug.

"You know I love you, right? If Doyoung turns out to be a terrible boyfriend, I'm going to marry you."

Kun pushes his friend away, knowing him well enough by now to see through his bluffs. "As if I'll just wait around for you to be single, idiot."

"But, one true love?" Ten grins. Kun actually goes a little red. "You're such a romantic."

Kun snorts. "Like you aren't."

  
  
  


Maybe Doyoung finally realized that Ten was trying to avoid him on purpose because he doesn't answer any of the calls or messages Ten sends him. It feels like he is so far away now even though he is literally just next door.

It's a Tuesday morning when he meets Taeil on his way to class. He is carrying shit load of books on his hands on the way to library, Ten feels bad for him so he helps him out.

Ten had somehow forgotten that Taeil is a TA for the business department. He tells him about how there are exams going on and how that means extra work for him even though Taeil is not a student anymore. Ten stupidly realizes that yes, it's in fact, finals season and that must mean Doyoung might be quite busy studying too. He feels even more stupid when he thinks of all those messages that must have surely disturbed his study hours.

"So have you and Doyoung worked it out?" Taeil asks. Ten stares at him in confusion. Does the whole college know about his crush on Doyoung or what?

That brings him to the question, does Doyoung know?

"What thing?"

"Oh. Doyoung seemed like a total lovesick fool a while ago but he seems a little sad these days so I just assumed you were having something like a lover's quarrel--" Taeil looks like a deer in the headlights when Ten continues to stare at him, mouth agape. "--was that not what happened? Oh shit, I' m so sorry for assuming! I just--"

Ten interrupts him. "We're not even dating why would we fight?"

Taeil actually looks shocked. "Oh my god. I thought Doyoung already--shit, forget I said anything."

Ten feels like the whole world is spinning.

He says goodbye to Taeil who tells him to forget they had this conversation at all again for a good measure. Ten convinces him that he will but later he is back on his apartment, lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling with a stupid smile on his lips, thinking about how Doyoung might possibly like him back. If Taeil is really implying what he thinks he is implying. But then he remembers that Doyoung looked  _ sad _ and Ten had been so stressed about hurting him later he might have unknowingly hurt him already. He feels like an asshole.

  
  
  


Ten pinches himself to make sure he’s not dreaming when he finds out that his piece made it to the exhibition. He is at the coffee shop when he finds out and so almost ends up tripping up himself and Johnny when he goes in for a big hug.

"You're such an occupational hazard for someone so small." Johnny says, balancing himself at the counter, but he doesn't sound too annoyed. Ten is too happy to care about thinking of a response to that so he lets it slide, especially since Johnny ruffles his hair and gives him the biggest i-knew-that-you-could-do-it smile.

For a minute, he thinks about calling Doyoung and giving him the good news but they're in such an avoiding-not avoiding each other limbo these days Ten doesn't even how he's going to begin the conversation.

They're neighbors so it wasn't like they would never run into each other but with the way Doyoung had just given a small nod and a curt greeting this morning, there was just no instance for Ten to bring up the topic that he desperately wanted to talk about.

Doyoung had actually replied to Ten's messages and told him things like 'sorry' and 'I was busy' but Ten could take a hint and know when he wasn't needed, as painful as it was to admit.

Ten has been thinking about what Kun said that day and he doesn't want things to end between them just like that. He wants to give it a chance, he wants Doyoung to give him a chance.

So he thinks of a plan, it's not the most romantic thing he's ever thought of but it's something. He writes a note with a time and an address and slips it under Doyoung's door.

He doesn't know if Doyoung might even be willing to come, but he might as well try.

  
  
  


In retrospect, that might have been a bad idea. The exhibition hall is unexpectedly crowded so he has to constantly be on the lookout. All of his friends he's invited come and congratulate him but they're gone after an hour or two but he's still lingering around looking at everyone else's work and having a chit-chat that he's only half-interested in. He is kind of worried that Doyoung might have come but Ten missed him.

Or worse, Doyoung is not coming at all.

This is supposed to be such a great day for him and here he is, desperately hoping that the guy he likes might show up to watch his art being displayed.

It's almost going to be closing time, Ten takes a selfie in front of his art for the nth time but now there's no spark in his smile. Ten sighs to himself as he packs up his stuff and looks at the time on his phone. There is still twenty minutes until closing time. He decides to wait it out because he'd rather get closure instead of beating himself over what ifs.

That's when Doyoung shows up, and that's an understatement, because he shows up the same way a main hero shows up to crash the wedding of the woman he loves when she is about to get married to someone else. Except it's just Ten, standing there looking puzzled in front of his own illustration and a few people still hovering around.

Doyoung looks like he came running here and he's only wearing sweatpants and a thin tee shirt. In this cold weather. Ten almost laughs.

He's holding the note in his hands.

"I found this under my doormat." He says, after catching his breath. "Thank god, I decided to clean up this evening."

Ten is actually grateful for that piece of information, he'd just thought Doyoung was straight up standing him up he just hadn't thought of the possibility that he might have not found the note.

Doyoung fixes his mussed hair that Ten guesses was probably from running in the wind.

"You should have just texted like normal people." Doyoung pouts. Ten wants badly to kiss him. He likes this boy so much, wow.

"And let you leave me on 'read' and hurt my pride." Ten says but Doyoung is already preoccupied with staring at Ten's illustration.

It is a landscape with a girl in the middle of something that resembles both the sea and the sky done entirely with primary colors. If you look closely there are a lot of small details. A jellyfish, a coffee cup, some birds, some people. It's meant to have no deeper meaning to it and he likes it just like that. It's arguably one of the best drawings he's ever made. Ten is proud of it.

But it's something else to hear Doyoung say it's good, it makes all of the blood on his body rush to his cheeks, even though that's so uncharacteristic of him to be blushing. He'll likely never get over Doyoung complimenting him.

They walk back home like they used to and Ten thinks about how much he missed this. Doyoung's shivering because the night air is cold and he's underdressed, so Ten gives him his jacket because at least he has a sweater underneath. His jacket is slightly short on Doyoung but it's better than nothing.

They don't talk much until they get into the elevator, after that Ten doesn't think much about anything else. He just blurts out,

"Listen, I have something I want to--"

"I'm in love with you."

For a moment, it's like the time stops. Even with the elevator slowly going up, up, up. Ten feels like someone actually pressed pause on a remote button and he's not sure what's going to happen if they press play again. All he can hear is his own heartbeat and Doyoung breathing a little faster, his eyes closed and his lips slightly quivering.

It was not just someone, it was Doyoung and he didn't pause he actually fast forwarded because Ten was supposed to apologize first and slowly lead up to the confession. He was prepared to have Doyoung tell him he liked him back, or there was also a slim, but still undeniable chance that he might be rejected.

He wasn't prepared for this. Doyoung doesn't just like him, he is in love with him.

_ Holy shit. _ He thinks.  _ I think I am in love with him too. _

But like an idiot he opens his mouth and says, "Are you sure?"

Because it's easy to admit that Kun is right and it might work but Ten likes him way more than he is even supposed to. If Doyoung broke up with him, it might honestly wreck him.

Doyoung scowls at him. Ten swallows, he can't stop the words coming out of his mouth from sounding less pathetic even if he tried. "Because I'm kind of a disaster and you might end up regretting it. You'll probably fall out of love at some point and it's 100% going to be my fault because--", he sighs, "--I always mess things up. I am not good at this, ugh. Just, I don't want you to hate me, when it's over."

Ten tries to say it casually, but he can't help how his voice almost cracks at the last part. He's not going to cry, not now.

Doyoung puts his hands on his shoulders, but it's just a feather of a touch that makes his heart ache.

"Ten, you almost set fire to the whole building when we first met, remember? I know you're a disaster, and I am still in love with you, actually I might be more of a disaster than you because I think I liked you before you even talked to me but I still acted so rudely when we first met."

Ten breaks into a smile at that. "What?"

Doyoung is blushing. "But that's not my point. I know you're not perfect but neither am I. I don't know what will happen in the future, but you don't either and I am not going to lose what I want right now because of what may or may not happen someday and right now I want to be with you."

Doyoung intertwines their hands together. Ten hates how he needed to hear that to be reassured but maybe there's a difference between wishing and knowing. Wondering if you are loved and knowing that you are loved. Maybe that's why it didn't work out before, because of the uncertainties, because of all that he left unsaid.

"Doyoung." He leans in. "I'm sorry. For being an asshole to you, for avoiding you, for almost burning the whole building down when we first met. But also thank you, for always being there. I don't why but it feels like I can breathe better when I'm with you, everything just feels like it will be okay. Even if I'm kind of high maintenance and will probably need you to tell me you love me again and again. But I really, really want to be with you too."

Doyoung raises his eyebrows.

"I'm saying that I'm in love with you too."

And then he randomly presses on the multiple elevator buttons and kisses him. It's not the most romantic kiss ever, it's nothing like in the movies, in this dark and cramped elevator. But the way Doyoung smiles into the kiss, puts his arms slowly around his waist and pulls him closer, how it's so slow and soft, how good it feels to put his hands through Doyoung's hair like he'd always wanted to, the way it feels so much better than what he'd imagined it would be and how his heart feels so full it might burst, he thinks that this might in fact, be at the top of the list of Best Kiss He's Ever Had.

"Um, do you want to come to my apartment?" Doyoung looks flushed and Ten wants to kiss him again. "I can't make out with you while I'm anxious someone might catch us."

Ten grins. "Before the first date? You're surprisingly bold, Kim Doyoung."

Doyoung rolls his eyes, but he lets Ten kiss his cheek as he presses the elevator button again.

  
  
  


"You know I was prepared to come at the airport to stop you, all rom-com style, if you didn't come to the exhibition." Ten says as he snuggles up to Doyoung. Ten doesn't know why he thought he could be able to live without ever experiencing this sort of intimacy with him. He can feel Doyoung's heartbeat and it gives him this warm and fuzzy feeling.

"Why would I be at the airport?" Doyoung says. His voice sounds a lot deeper when they're lying so close, it's hot.

"You were going to move away."

Doyoung laughs softly. "It's only three hours away, I could get there by bus."

"Yeah, I guess I just watched too much silly romance movies when I was a teenager."

Doyoung cards his fingers through his hair slowly.

"Anyway, I'm not going to move."

"You're not?"

"No, the apartments are cheaper here. I'm probably going to get a car though."

"Hmph. I thought it was because you didn't want to leave me."

"I thought you weren't going to miss me."

That makes Ten raise his head up. "I told you I was joking!"

"And you also avoided me for a month later after that. Yeah, I really thought you didn't want anything to do with me."

"I'm sorry. I was just so convinced it was a bad idea to date you but it was only because I thought--"

Doyoung kisses him. "You think too much."

Ten closes his eyes. He doesn't think about future for once, he thinks about how happy he is in the present and how lying in the bed together with Doyoung feels like it's where he belongs.

It doesn't end with them riding together into the sunset as an 80's pop song plays on the car radio. But this is more than enough for now.

It's perfect.

  
  


\---

There were a number of things Doyoung was prepared to deal with when it came to living alone.

He'd convinced his parents to let him live after he became a sophomore in college and found a good apartment complex at a five minutes' walk away from the campus with reasonable rent. He'd be looking for a job on summer vacation but for now he'd have to deal with his parents paying for it.

He was  a pretty decent cook and his mom often sent him fresh vegetables so he didn't have to spend much on groceries. It was difficult to do all the cleaning by yourself though, and it took some time to get used to coming back to an empty apartment. His mother took pity on him, telling him to go socialize with his neighbors, make friends, join clubs, anything that would make him less lonely. Doyoung insisted quite stubbornly that he was not lonely at all and he thought he had plenty of time to make friends. The university did not have any clubs that seemed interesting to him but maybe he would check out some of them later.

Speaking of neighbors, he remembered someone new moved into the apartment right next to him just yesterday.

He'd seen some people carry a bunch of cardboard boxes and naturally he'd assumed that maybe all those people would be sharing the apartment.

He later found there was only one person who entered and left the apartment. The guy seemed like he was the same age as him and he possibly went to the same university too, because he'd remembered seeing him once or twice. His face was memorable and he'd mostly wear black from head to toe, had countless piercings and also an impeccable sense of style that Doyoung wondered if he could ever pull off himself, but this guy seemed cool and attractive in an almost intimidating way.

Doyoung wanted to talk to him. But he also didn't want to talk to him.

But then one day Doyoung had held the elevator from closing so his rushing neighbor could get in. His neighbor had smiled at him as a 'thanks', the kind of smile that had made his legs wobble a little and hands sweat for the remaining ten seconds they shared in the little space.

Doyoung didn't even know why he felt that way, they had not even talked. He didn't even know his name.

But he hadn't stopped thinking about that smile. Maybe he would take his mother's advice and go say hi, ask him for sugar, maybe. Start a friendly conversation.

He didn't need to; the fire alarms did it for him.

At first he was confused, but then here was a loud shriek from the apartment right next door and the confusion turned into panic when he heard a commotion outside followed by more loud voices of multiple people screaming right in front of his door.

The resident manager was trying to convince the people that there was no actual fire, that the sprinklers had gone off and it was just an unfortunate accident. Everything was perfectly fine. Some people had run anyway and the elderly couple who lived next to him seemed to have taken it as if the world had come to an end. The main culprit looked soaked from head to toe, with his hands folded against his chest and his lips turned downwards as he regarded the people who complained.

"What did you do?" Doyoung spoke to him. He hadn't meant to sound so harsh, he was only curious. Perhaps it was the wrong thing to say because the guy looked as if he was being accused of murder.

"I was just trying to make dinner! How would I know just putting some oil on a pan could somehow set the kitchen on fire?"

Doyoung's heart beat accelerated. How bad can you be at cooking that you end up almost burning the kitchen down? Sure he'd been bad at it when he'd first started cooking but setting up the kitchen on fire was something else. This guy could have set the whole building on fire. All of these people could have died. He could have died. Good thing the sprinkler went off.

He didn't realize he was thinking that out loud until his neighbor's expression turned dark. He was fuming.

"Fuck you. I didn't do it on purpose."

Doyoung never said he did, he'd only stated what was the truth but maybe it was his fault because once he got started complaining about stuff he never knew when to shut up. That was a bad habit he wasn't proud of.

He didn't know how to say he didn't mean it like that. He'd simply been worried. This guy would have been hurt too.

"I'm just saying you should have gotten cooking lessons or something if you were so bad at it before you attempted to--"

He'd meant it as an advice but it had somehow come off as patronizing. He really needed to shut up and leave and yet here he was.

"Ugh, maybe you should mind your own business, uh…"

"Doyoung."

"Yes, Doyoung. I am not even that terrible, okay? It was just an accident." He sighed, he sounded tired and there was a hint of sadness to his voice. "I have been living alone since I came to Korea two years ago."

Now that he thought about it, he definitely had an accent. He suddenly remembered that familiar feeling of loneliness he'd felt only after two months of living alone. Two years was way longer. Doyoung felt bad. But what he had said earlier was out there and he could not take it back.

He felt like he was going to have a stomach ache. This, he was not prepared to deal with.

"Whatever. I'm Ten, your new neighbor. Guess it wasn't that nice meeting you. Anyway, I have a flooded apartment I need to take care of."

Then he closed the door on his face.

A friendly conversation. Yeah, right. He had spectacularly failed at that.

**Author's Note:**

> if you know what being an art major is like and say this is not how it's like, ur most probably right. but i sadly know too much about business majors and they are not as cute as Doyoung :/


End file.
